I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
