Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil