I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after