What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
