Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck