She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated