did you get engaged???
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
