using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
