if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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