I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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