he wants to bone in the snuggie
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
