The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
