So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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