she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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