i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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