So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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