Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Randomize
