i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
