guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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