Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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