I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
