What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
True strength comes from lack of pants
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
