just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
