what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Just high enough for therapy.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
