i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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