He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
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I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
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If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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