We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
