Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
