Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.