My liver just broke up with me...
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now