Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...

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(920): the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof... http://tfl.nu/xn7m

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(213): View more from California

Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.

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(213): Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now. http://tfl.nu/tt7k

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(631): View more from New York

Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"

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(631): Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore" http://tfl.nu/gl8n

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(407): View more from Florida

And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.

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(407): And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword. http://tfl.nu/gcmk

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(970): View more from Colorado

she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener

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(970): she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener http://tfl.nu/dutw

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(760): View more from California

I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.

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(760): I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned. http://tfl.nu/ynjo

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(404): View more from Georgia

FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.

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(404): FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall. http://tfl.nu/m2zy

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(330): View more from Ohio

It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.

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(330): It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this. http://tfl.nu/6tb8

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.

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(508): I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played. http://tfl.nu/k248

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(813): View more from Florida

Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.

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(813): Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey. http://tfl.nu/gju4

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(614): View more from Ohio

If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.

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(614): If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night. http://tfl.nu/mvnj

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(585): View more from New York

It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college

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(585): It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college http://tfl.nu/6ip8

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(248): View more from Michigan

We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.

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(248): We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management. http://tfl.nu/hzvj

Replies (4) Good night (1158) Bad night (340)
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(301): View more from Maryland

Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?

(1-301): View more from Maryland

It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.

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(301): Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one? (1-301): It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem. http://tfl.nu/x27d

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(713): View more from Texas

So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".

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(713): So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom". http://tfl.nu/chqv

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