I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?