i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
and she was petting her beer can
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
