omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
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I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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