Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
