I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
