maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
