Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
