i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
My penis needs a shock collar
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
