last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?