If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
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we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
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I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties