just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!