I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?