you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT