Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(250): View more from British Columbia

She looked kinda like Mario Batali?

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(250): She looked kinda like Mario Batali? http://tfl.nu/17rh

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.

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(919): I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx. http://tfl.nu/hq1e

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(251): View more from Alabama

just found the deal breaker

(1-251): View more from Alabama

hairy back?

(251): View more from Alabama

he can't live within 1000 ft of a school

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(251): just found the deal breaker (1-251): hairy back? (251): he can't live within 1000 ft of a school http://tfl.nu/kwkd

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.

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(715): Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's. http://tfl.nu/k4yu

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(303): View more from Colorado

You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad

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(303): You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad http://tfl.nu/1udj

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(407): View more from Florida

Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)

(1-407): View more from Florida

Mom wtf!?

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(407): Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :) (1-407): Mom wtf!? http://tfl.nu/scw1

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(765): View more from Indiana

A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.

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(765): A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this. http://tfl.nu/a7q9

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you

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(570): If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you http://tfl.nu/x3pe

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(860): View more from Connecticut

once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.

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(860): once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore. http://tfl.nu/0b2i

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(732): View more from New Jersey

test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE

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(732): test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE http://tfl.nu/cfpm

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(571): View more from Virginia

Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.

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(571): Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was. http://tfl.nu/tmsm

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(254): View more from Texas

Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be

(254): View more from Texas

Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54

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(254): Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be (254): Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54 http://tfl.nu/ylh4

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(636): View more from Missouri

In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.

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(636): In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something. http://tfl.nu/dpws

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(850): View more from Florida

She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING

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(850): She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING http://tfl.nu/6jxf

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(787): View more from Puerto Rico

You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow

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(787): You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow http://tfl.nu/nndh

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