Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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