How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Someone came in the potted fern
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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