She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Randomize
