He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
