And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize