I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
PANTIES FOUND
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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