she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Randomize
