you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
