I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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