So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
