why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
