I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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