I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
