I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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