I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
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When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
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I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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