I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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