I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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