Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I miss vodka workout Fridays
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i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
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I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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