So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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