you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
